Devotion is not a dirty word.
I’m one of those free-spirited Sagittarian wildfires that shivers at the thought of a mortgage. Or becoming pregnant. Or having a stable job. Yep - I’m the girl you can’t lock a date with for a fortnights time because hell, what if I’m on an international soul quest when that dinner party comes around? I wouldn’t want to commit and then let you down…
Commitment was a contagious virus I didn't want to catch.
I have this desperate desire for freedom and a relentless lust for creating a life on my terms - a somewhat contradictory venture. What I've only just come to know is that discipline can be a form of liberation, rather than a suppression of spirit. I am forever fearful of missing out on the memory gems that spontaneity collects, worried that routine, plans and schedules would hinder my license to play. This way of thinking has always held me back from achieving and kept me playing small. About six months ago, I was ready to be shaken up and out of my scared-and-safe spirituality and instead invited in a radical idea -
what if our rituals actually set us free? What if time management influences when we feel turned on, inspired and creative?
I marvel at the folks ‘doing the work’ to produce content through online platforms and spirited business - yet I deter myself to that same intentional productivity and practice that it takes to step in to the power of service. Self-sabotage is a killer, I tell ya, but I found that I also have a deep-seeded belief that work cannot be joyful.
So, what does a big-dreaming-gypsy do?
With a wander-hungry spirit that yearns to fly free AND a longing to be of soul-centrered service, my inner wolves are often in turmoil, resulting in lots of wasted time playing tug of war with my desires rather than creating a life that spoils them both.
However - last year, there were messy moments that became catalysts for change. I was challenged with the opportunity to reinvent myself and I knew that this dodging commitment thing wasn't benefiting me and my visions. I confided in a coach - one that I truly honour and who fiercely shows up for herself consistently - and I told her I was ready to do things differently. Shit-scared, but ready. She knew I was repelled by the concepts of compromise, control and commitment, even though I was already dedicated to thought patterns and actions that were no longer serving me.
She boldly offered a statement that changed things forever.
"Lets swap out the word commitment with devotion."
Ahh. Ease. Lighter. My shoulders slid down, anxiety ceased. That feels good, warmer, closer to my soul.
Isn’t it truly amazing how much language can alter our vibes?
This subtle switcharoo has altered my approach to life in ways that I didn't think were possible - since the shift I have manifested my 'save for later' dreams in to my current experience. Sure, the battle between soulful ferocious focus and momentary bliss in the form of distractions or bad habits still shows up on a day-to-day basis, but with this grounding mantra of devotion I am able to usher my attention back to my confident clarity on what it is I want to create.
So, the wrangle for peace continues, but now it's a soulful and spirited struggle.
Be free in your conscious quest with commitment,