An Ode To My Ex
We don’t see many of these, do we?
That word actually gives me the heebiejeebies a little bit. It feels wrong to use that label for someone that has had such a profound influence on me — so here’s what feels good in my soul over the rules or expectations of our current paradigm —
Here’s to making love stay even when the relationship container shape shifts.
“Give me truth or give me death — I simply want to be loved like that.”
Commending Mr @longdistancelovebombsfor being my dance partner in learning about unconditional love.
What is more paradoxically human than allowing the parts that hurt crack open + alchemise to more love? I feel like thats the brave and wild adventure we’ve been on for each other.
Jeremy met me when I was 18 and it’s not an easy thing to unravel an attachment that we’ve spent 6 years entangled in — but that’s what we’ve been doing the last 9 months.
There’s things I know in my bones won’t dissipate, like how you get up at ghostly hours to watch Manchester United, or go to bed with a head full of wet hair (I’ll never understand that) and boil water on medium heat, or that I know you were definitely Balinese in a past life because you’re most content with warmth, rice and the ocean. And that he’s an absolute sucker for spelling, so he corrected a word in this piece before I posted it.
The way I’ve learned you can’t just slip away and I don’t want to pretend like it does.
There’s future timelines we’ve burned together, and space that I’ve created for myself where you used to be, but never in spite, simply alchemy of what was and now is no longer, making room for something else.
Break ups are really fucking hard, yes.
However, I don’t think we need to do them in the way we’ve been shown before. It is possible to hold resonance with Love the whole way through (even in the pits of ache, anger or resistance). Let yourself be moved by the transition and be taken by the gifts of change. Let your heart be wildly known, learn yourself and your deepest desires will be revealed.
I’m deeply proud of us for navigating this with grace, heart and humanness. (and that this photo of beaming smiles was taken in between tearful moments of goodbye).
Now to you — what have you found most difficult to navigate in a break up, and how can you soften in to more unconditional love?